i suddenly feel digusted with myself.

i dunno why.

i just keep having this nagging feeling.

why can't i work harder?

why can't i finish i homework on the day it is given?

why am i so idiotic?

why can't i strive to improve myself?

why am i feeling like a perfectionist?

why?

you know what is another thing which disgusts me?

my class.

i hate my class.

i really, truly hate it.

it's really idiotic.

actually, its more of i hate the boys in my class.

its not a normal hate.

its not that i hate them because they act dumb or something.

its because i am a girl.




i'm not being prejudiced

i don't think i am.

i just hate them.

you should see the treatment girls get in my class.

is this normal?

for girls to get this type of treatment?



when a guy has got first in something, or gotten full marks

they get a big round of applause

but when a girl accomplished something

they get nothing at all

absolutely nothing

no one bothers to clap

that is, unless, the teacher asks them to clap

then they clap reluctantly

i feel so disgusted

and inferior

and considering that there are only 2 girls in the class

its no easy feat actually managing to accomplish anything



i'm just sick and tired of this

its so idiotic

i feel so abnormal

i just wish people would understand

actually i wish boys would understand






how hurting it is






how cutting it is






how depressing it is






how one feels so abnormal






how embarassing it is when people are forced to clap for you




i hate these idiots